There is no point in thinking about it, you know .I can’t be angry with him for hurting me for the sixth time .I let him hurt me repeatedly because I chose to believe what I wanted to believe –that we were friends. And even if I hadn’t, who’s to say that he wouldn’t have camped outside my door, left me fifty seven messages and brought me flowers ? Just because I finally realized that whatever it was that we had was a one way lane that ended up in heart-break., doesn’t make it easier to deal with.
A few years ago, I could rock a crop top (if it existed) without cringing or wishing on a shooting star for the perfect flat tummy (Victoria Secret Types ) but that all changed a few months ago when I woke up and saw what everyone calls ‘belly fat’ ,I almost fainted .
I have always hated working out .I didn’t and still don’t find pleasure in working up a good sweat .Now ,with three days completed of a thirty day abs workout and a fourth day around the corner ,I feel more deserving now to call myself fitness bae .
Working out is hard and I never have a day when I am looking forward to it .In fact ,sometimes not hitting the snooze button is harder than completing 25 sit-ups ( especially when it’s raining and the temperatures are anything than ideal ) and I kid you not .
Please don’t judge me ,but I work out because I love my body .It’s not vanity but I do .When I work out ,it’s not for revenge or the ideal summer body –it’s for me . It’s hard working out especially if you busier than Nanny McPhee so I am going to share a few things that drive me to wake up and sweat it up-i call these my workout tools.
Have a workout schedule – I always plan out my entire workout the night before so I don’t wake up and I just waste 5 mins standing coz I can’t decide what to do . Sometimes I just follow a video tutorial thanks YouTube and I love fitness blender a lot.
Reward yourself after a workout –I reward myself weekly either with chocolate, a TV-show marathon or a good book (yep, I am kind of a nerd).
Dress up – I believe that if you dressed up for the gym you get results. Working out for me is a pink tank top, black leggings and grey sneakers…You just have to look like the ‘fitness babe’
Celibate. That word is loaded and scarier than a bowl of spinach waiting to be eaten by you. Talking about being celibate alone can evoke many different emotions and opinions (trust me I have been there ) .The word is enough to scare you into hiding in a tower and wait for prince charming to mount his horse and come get you (over exaggeration right ?) . If you like my friend you probably think celibacy is a painful itch that you need to scratch and get over ASAP.
When I made the decision to trust God with my love story, hand him the keys of my Mustang, and wait for my future husband (yep to indulge in the ‘cookie’, I thought it was going to be 1+1. Boy was I wrong! Being celibate is like training for a 5K run that’s six months away and you find yourself cheating yourself by skipping a day or two, indulging in more pizza than crunches and feeling unmotivated .
Dating while celibate is not for the weak! Saying you celibate isn’t enough, because 99% of the time he is going to try and change your mind (even the devil knows what you like –so check yourself) .Don’t be offended, guys always like what they can’t have and besides your action speaks louder than words. I am not the expert on Celibacy and neither do I have it on lock-down and I won’t be on Wendy Williams anytime soon talking about how I bagged and got married to a heartthrob after being celibate –so breathe easily .
So how do you date when celibate? Well I noted down some few points from youth class –hope they make sense:
What time he calling you? There is nothing wrong with getting a call unless it’s raining and you switched on at the wrong places and his alluring voice is soothing places you didn’t know where creased and he is deviously sounding good –like he always does and it’s 11pm .Where will he be going at 11pm ; no burger joint is open that time . What is he thinking at 11pm that got him calling you? During the first few weeks of dating don’t give him a free reign to call you at 11pm, midnight or 1:00 am –you don’t want to know what got him awake.
On dates – You need to be aware whether you going on dates in broad daylight or at night .There is nothing wrong with a dinner date but if you constantly on night watch and never go on a date in broad daylight then someone has ulterior motives but if you nocturnal that’s okay as well .
As much as celibacy is a good thing, drool-worthy might sleep with someone else if he is used to getting it on the silver platter .Don’t roll your eyes –he is human and he’s not going to wait forever .So if you are waiting for marriage, be upfront with him and let him know before you waste six months or two years of his time.
Choosing to be celibate is a personal decision someone makes .What are your thoughts?
Anyone can make a list of all the things that they fear . We have been doing it since we could tie our shoelaces with our little chubby hands . For me few things scare me more than dying -unsaved ,unrepentant and unfulfilled . If you had asked me a few months ago how strong my faith was ,I would have said “like everybody Else’s” but now i am inclined to answer “it’s lukewarm ” -how hilarious .
Up until this point in my life, I hadn’t experienced much hardship,suffering or pain . But a few weeks back ,I hit rock bottom .My body acted up and i am pretty sure death might have pointed its blaring headlights at me ready to start the engine and take me out . I was more than worried that i would spend my birthday in a coffin somewhere but Grace carried me here.
This pain my body is enduring is bringing me to my knees in almost every way everyday .I am drained mentally ,physically and spiritually . In the midst of it all ,i am reminded that no man can serve two masters and thus I choose faith .
Someone blessed me with Kenneth Hagin’s book “The Believers Authority ” and it is completely revamping my life .I thank God that he blesses us through others and his word hidden in our hearts comforts us when trials come . Doesn’t the good book state that “your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path “-Psalm 119:105.
I don’t know how my body will go back to its original state or how i will have peace of mind but i do know that my God will never leave me.
“There is someone I want you to meet, you will like him”
I kindly declined
Well, you single and a little desperate to be baed-up, what’s wrong with meeting him?!”
She kept nagging until I had no option than to agree to the hook up.
Compared to all of Mickey’s friends, Loud mouth is about the dullest person on Earth, maybe right behind my third cousin who was completely mesmerized by handwriting that he would not accept anything less than a handwritten card for Christmas .I just didn’t see why Mickey was convinced that we would make a perfect pair –we were as different as light was to darkness.
I was supposed to be grateful that he was male, he would be a suitable date to brunch than my ten year old nephew, and he definitely would fit in because he was just so charming (so they said). A part of me (like a huge chunk of me) compares him to a half done egg when he is not creeping staring into my eyes but as soon as the thought hits me –I start quoting scripture like ‘hameno’.
Is it acceptable to write about him in my diary? Sometimes I find it a little weird that I write about him because he bores me to tears. Instead of being happy that a guy was showing interest in me like I always thought I would be, I suddenly feel sad and overwhelmed. I am not sure what I’m not ready for, but I don’t think I am ready .Being in a relationship is pretty cool, but settling for someone sounds like a twelve hour job with no salary.
How do you tell your friend that the hook up isn’t going as well as in her head? Am I bad person for not vibing with him ?
My dearest hubby ,Even as I write this letter ,I know it will be a second (not that second ) before you read it –if I ever mention it .I do know I’ll tuck it away; the words on it are more of a prayer ,meant for the good Lord more than you my darling .A part of me wishes that maybe in the scribbling ,these words may somehow find themselves in your heart ;who am I kidding my prayer life hasn’t extended that far yet .
I don’t know how to refer to you –to me you still a nameless, faceless unknown entity that could as well be Extra Terrestrial lol. But I did see you several times –in a love song, a romantic movie and a woven together love story written by another romantic for the heartstrings lover you will one day call ‘wifey’.
I am waiting for you .Not waiting ,in the sense that I’ll be marking dates off my calendar before you show up or looking for you in every tall guy I happen to meet –please be tall . I hope you know that I’m doing my best to wait for you and not looking knee high for you in every guy I come across .Darling, it ain’t an easy gig waiting for an unknown and trying to wait patiently. If you must know, puberty came a longgg time ago and cute guys obviously became a hit (I must have gotten a cute-o-meter) and hormones and the occasional date –not so easy. But I am trying!
I don’t expect you to be perfect because I am not but I expect you to understand that I will always be eating something (yes I am a foodie) and I will always have one too many bottles of hand sanitizer because I’m germ phobic .I pray you understand that they are days when I am high on the air and I am the Mary Poppins of cleaning and then they are days when the couch is the only thing I want to see.
I hope wherever you are, you know that somewhere, somehow there is someone praying for you and I am kind of hoping you are praying for me too. I pray that you know and love Jesus as well and I hope you have actually occasionally read your bible .I am not expecting you to waltz in my life with a ten bed-roomed house ,eight cars, three dogs and a six figure salary (rolling my eyes).All I pray is that when we do meet, we will care for each other and God’s love will be evident to those we meet.
I can’t wait to be the one that you confide in, the one that will see you cry and the one that you will share this longest walk called life with.