There is no point in thinking about it, you know .I can’t be angry with him for hurting me for the sixth time .I let him hurt me repeatedly because I chose to believe what I wanted to believe –that we were friends. And even if I hadn’t, who’s to say that he wouldn’t have camped outside my door, left me fifty seven messages and brought me flowers ? Just because I finally realized that whatever it was that we had was a one way lane that ended up in heart-break., doesn’t make it easier to deal with.
How does one bounce back from a heart break?
Celibate. That word is loaded and scarier than a bowl of spinach waiting to be eaten by you. Talking about being celibate alone can evoke many different emotions and opinions (trust me I have been there ) .The word is enough to scare you into hiding in a tower and wait for prince charming to mount his horse and come get you (over exaggeration right ?) . If you like my friend you probably think celibacy is a painful itch that you need to scratch and get over ASAP.
When I made the decision to trust God with my love story, hand him the keys of my Mustang, and wait for my future husband (yep to indulge in the ‘cookie’, I thought it was going to be 1+1. Boy was I wrong! Being celibate is like training for a 5K run that’s six months away and you find yourself cheating yourself by skipping a day or two, indulging in more pizza than crunches and feeling unmotivated .
Dating while celibate is not for the weak! Saying you celibate isn’t enough, because 99% of the time he is going to try and change your mind (even the devil knows what you like –so check yourself) .Don’t be offended, guys always like what they can’t have and besides your action speaks louder than words. I am not the expert on Celibacy and neither do I have it on lock-down and I won’t be on Wendy Williams anytime soon talking about how I bagged and got married to a heartthrob after being celibate –so breathe easily .
So how do you date when celibate? Well I noted down some few points from youth class –hope they make sense:
- What time he calling you? There is nothing wrong with getting a call unless it’s raining and you switched on at the wrong places and his alluring voice is soothing places you didn’t know where creased and he is deviously sounding good –like he always does and it’s 11pm .Where will he be going at 11pm ; no burger joint is open that time . What is he thinking at 11pm that got him calling you? During the first few weeks of dating don’t give him a free reign to call you at 11pm, midnight or 1:00 am –you don’t want to know what got him awake.
- On dates – You need to be aware whether you going on dates in broad daylight or at night .There is nothing wrong with a dinner date but if you constantly on night watch and never go on a date in broad daylight then someone has ulterior motives but if you nocturnal that’s okay as well .
As much as celibacy is a good thing, drool-worthy might sleep with someone else if he is used to getting it on the silver platter .Don’t roll your eyes –he is human and he’s not going to wait forever .So if you are waiting for marriage, be upfront with him and let him know before you waste six months or two years of his time.
Choosing to be celibate is a personal decision someone makes .What are your thoughts?